Updated: Sep 3, 2020
When my fiancé Rob died, I had no concept of how to deal with such a loss. I didn’t know anyone who had lost a partner at such a young age, or what resources were available to me. I spent a few days searching the internet for bereavement support groups, therapists and grief resources. I didn’t seem to fit into any of the categories available for bereavement groups: I was much younger than the typical widow, and I didn’t have any children.
Luckily the support I needed found me; another young woman in Toronto who had recently lost her husband saw my partner’s obituary, posted by a mutual friend on Facebook, and reached out to me. Through her I found a small network of young widows in the city, and they became the people with whom I could share my grief, anger, and the occasional absurdity caused by my loss.
It’s been two and a half years since Rob died, and I think of him every day. In the early days, the anguish of missing him, and of everything that he was missing, could quickly overwhelm me. It’s easier now to hold a happy memory of him in my mind, or to laugh at something he would have found funny. I love talking about Rob, and hearing things about him that I didn’t know from friends and family, even if it does cause me a twinge of sadness. Don’t be afraid to speak to people about their lost loved ones, it helps keep their memory bright.